Sherin Mathews: A budding flower trodden underfoot. Time to review the law and practice of international and domestic adoption!

Don't take advantage of each other, but fear God'
Leviticus

  Sherin a three year old girl brought to
Texas USA from an  Indian orphanage legally adopted by the Mathews a family that had assured Indian and  US authorities that little Sherin who aside the stigma of being an Orphan had developmental  problems, will  get the best parental love and  bid poverty bye - bye.
The stats show that little Sherin like most internationally adopted kids will be the envy of most children from her country of origin. A 2007 study of adopted children by HHS revealed that adopted kids are more likely to do well in life at least much better than children who grow up in poverty and squalor, the report identifies   a correlation between poverty and mistreatment of children.

There you heard it Sherin Mathews is lucky - well not as lucky as the child Angelina Joli adopted from Cambodia or the kid Madonna adopted from Malawi you might argue but nonetheless lucky  right? Unfortunately NO! is the right answer.
After reporting to the  Police that Sherin had gone missing on the 7th October 2017, Wesley Mathews, her adoptive father explained that he had 'made' her to stand under a tree that fateful night about a hundred feet from the house as a punitive measure because she would not drink her milk and as he himself added , coyotes had been seen in the area.
The Police dutifully began a weeklong search for Sherin. Meanwhile the biological daughter of the Mathews a four year old was taken from the Mathews home under protective custody.
Finally the search for missing Sherin Mathews paid off when the poor child was found dead in a culvert under a road in the neighborhood.
The story took a fresh twist when Wesley Mathews accompanied by his attorney reported to the Police on Monday 23 October 2017 with a second account of what happened. According to Wesley, on the fateful night he asked her to drink her milk in the garage but she refused later she began to drink and strangely he began to physically assist her to  drink eventually she began to choke, cough and her breathing slowed he no longer felt her pulse and concluded that she was dead.
Wesley admitted that he took her body away from the house. He has since been arrested and charged with injury to a child a first degree felony.
This latest case of the mistreatment of a minor brings to the fore the glaring loopholes in the laws and buerocracy of international and domestic adoption. For one the lack of surveillance of the adopted child by the bodies concerned after a court has okayed the adoption to the adoptive parents , leaves much to be desired.
Apart from the usual background checks a Shrink should be enlisted to check the psychological worthiness of potential adoptive parents.- the truth is not everyone can be a good parent as we have seen in the cases of abusive parents globally.
The Russian government banned the adoption of Russian children into the U SA as far back as 2013  as a result of the death of 19 adopted children from Russia to the USA between 1991-2013.
Adoption as a policy is good and benefits the adoptive parents as well as the adopted child and if the child turns out to be another Steve Jobs the whole world benefits. However the system should block leackages that can hand future Sherins into the hands of the Wesley Mathews of this world.

Interview with Arch Bishop Emeritus Peter Yariyork Jatau.

ARCH BISHOP (EMERITUS) PETER YARIYOK JATAU.

 INTERVIEW WITH THE FIRST NORTHERN NIGERIAN CATHOLIC ARCH BISHOP.

His retirement home is a duplex. Apart from a few domestic staff,nothing will give a first time visitor an inkling that the resident of the building located a few meters from st Anns nursery,primary and secondary school  Kakuri, Kaduna south local government of Kaduna state is such a great and distinguished Nigerian.

Though retired, the Arch Bishop is of sound mind and body .One is left to wonder why governments past and present seem to leave untapped the wisdom and experience of individuals like the Arch Bishop emeritus. 'This treasure trove should not be confined to his retirement home' will definitely be your conclusion after enjoying this interview.

Q: Tell us about your childhood-where were you born?

Ans: I was born in a village called Marsa in the present Marsa district of Zangon Kataf local government of Kaduna state. Roughly, my birth took place... (Because there were no recording of birth and death and so on... But looking back at events that took place around the time of my birth and people born around the same time, I will say it will be around 1932.

Q: How many siblings did you have and what were the names of your father and mother?

Ans: My father was called Jatau and my mother was called Brenke. That time you know polygamy was in vogue and the more women one had, the more the kind of leadership was given to him in the community and of course ,if you had many women, the chances are that you will have many children and that will make you a great farmer when you have many to work on the farm with you. So that was what was happening in those days, like I said, my father was called Jatau and my mother was called Brenke and that time there was nothing like Christianity in the area.

Q: Can you remember the kind of man your father was-his personality and also that of your mother?

Ans: My father was a great farmer He was a person that was respected in the community because of his hardwork and even when we were growing up at home, he was somebody that was very peaceful in nature, he loved peace and wanted people to be in peace. My mother also was a very quite type of woman a good house wife I will say, as I said it was polygamy-meaning my father had many wives and at a time I remember there were about four of them and they were living very peacefully. There was no fighting and so on and that was a very good way of teaching and instructing their children. So life at that time was very comfortable.

Q: From your mother's side how many children did she give birth to?

Ans:We were altogether six. She gave birth to more but many died shortly after birth, we would have been up to ten or even more but those of us that survived were about six. Some have died now-in fact from my mothers side we are only two left now; myself and a junior sister of mine.

Q:At that time western education was not common. How did you manage to get western education?

Ans: At that time there was no western education at all-there were no schools around but when the missionaries came, it was then that we heard about some thing called  Western education,because when they came, they wanted us to know the catchism: In the Catholic Church, the catchism contains in a nutshell, the teaching of Christ as handed down to the Apostles and to the present day Church leaders. So one was in a better condition if you are able to read and write so that when you are taught something in the classroom, you can come back home and read through the catchism and see what you were taught.

That also applied to many other subjects, it was not only religious knowledge but any other thing that we were taught in the primary school. So I will say, as far as I am aware now, Western education started around 1942 in my village through the instrumentality of what we used to call catechists. The catechists prepare people that were well trained in religion in the Catholic faith and they used to help the missionary Priest to prepare those who were ready to receive baptism because you don't become a Catholic without being baptised, you can be in the Church for donkey years but if  you are not baptised you are not a Christian-you are not a Catholic .So the job of those catechist was to prepare candidates for baptism and when the candidates were ready to be baptized then the Missionary Priest will come there and baptize them.

Q:Can you remember the names of some of the Catchists or Missionaries that impacted your life positively at that time?

Ans: Very well- let me start with the Missionaries: The very first Missionary that came to my village was called Father Gernon, an Irish Priest. He was in the military. He served in the first and second world wars. He was a Chaplain in the military. When the war was over, he came and was stationed in Kafanchan and from Kafanchan he worked through many villages up to my village. So he was the first Missionary Priest that I met.

Then after him came Father Peter Bennet also another Irish Priest; infact all the Priests in the north at that time were Irish-most of them, a few from other places- so Father Peter Bennett was in Kafanchan around 1942.In 1943  I started going to school . In those days I was preparing for baptism,he was the one that examined us and when we were ready to be baptised, he was the one that baptised me in December 1943.

Then there were other priests that came after him; Father Oliver Smith who was instrumental to my going to the Seminary to become a Catholic Priest. There are so many of them but these are the few I can recall.

Q: At that time what was the reaction to the coming of the Missionaries in Marsa and environes?

Ans: They were very much welcomed. Infact before the coming of the Catholic Missionaries, the SIM( Sudan interior mission) Missionaries where there at least ten years in my village before the coming of the Catholic Missionaries. When the Catholic Missionaries came they were very much welcomed especially when children will go to play with them and they will teach them a few words of English. That was very enticing to parents and parents were happy to see the missionaries.

Q: Your grace, when you enrolled into the Catechism class did you envisage your being a Priest in future?

Ans: There was no thought of me becoming even a teacher not to talk of being a Priest because at that time we did not know that a black man could be a Priest. It was Missionaries we saw going around the area trying to get people to embrace the Catholic faith. So there was no question of me thinking I will become a Priest.

I became aware of becoming a Priest much much later, infact toward the end of my primary school.education-that will be around 1948/49.

Q:What made you decide to pursue that line-Priesthood?

Ans:When I was in the primary school, first of all I started in Hausa, because at that time the Colonial powers did not want northerners to know much about education. They wanted northerners to know how to read and write a bit, maybe a bit of English so that they can interpret for the Colonial D.O s as they used to call them but then, when I started going to school where English was the medium of instruction, I was the only northerner in the class from when I started in standard 3 up to standard 6.

Now I became a mission boy. That means I lived with the missionaries, helping in their houses, cleaning their rooms,making their beds and any other sort of work they wanted me to do and at the same time, I was going to school.

Those of us who used to serve mass- man servants.I was the only non Igbo amongst my fellow manservants then. So when the Priest that was in charge of us; teaching us English language and Christian religious knowledge, saw that we were about to finish our primary school education, he asked us a year before then what we would like to do when we finish our primary education? Now the Igbo boys that were with me said they will like to be Priests and... Since we were the same, I also said that I wanted to be a Priest.

Q: What was the reaction of your family?

Ans: They didn't know what being a Priest really means, they didn't know but even when they realised that I will be a Catholic Priest like the priests they see ,they didn't bother because my father was just happy that his son was getting higher and higher in the area of education and of course since it was polygamy and I had many brothers,it didn't bother him that I will not marry. Neither did it bother my mother.

Q: How will you compare the standard of education then and now?

Ans: The standard of education then was very high. It is nothing compared to what is obtainable now. I remember the kind of English we were able to speak or write even under graduates in their 1st and 2nd year in University wouldn't know that kind of English and that will apply also to arithmetic.

In the primary school we didn't do what we call Maths today because Maths included arithmetic, geography, and algebra, so it was only arithmetic. The truth is that the standard then was very high compared to what you see today. At that time, by the time you reach standard  4,5,and 6,one will speak good English and write good English and correct grammar correct spelling and so on but that is not obtainable now even with students who are in their first or second year in University from my communication with such students and letters I receive from them.

Q:Let's look at your journey into Priesthood, where there times when you felt like retracing your steps?

Ans:It was not smooth, in the sense that by the time I went to the minor seminary, there was not a single seminary in the north so we had to go to Ibadan  and travelling from Kafanchan to Ibadan is a very long journey by train. But what I am sure of is that when God wants you to do something, he will give you all the qualities that are required to make you succeed if you cooperate.

So it was not easy in the sense that as a young boy, you leave an area where you are comfortable and used to, the kind of food you eat, the people you meet? To go to another place altogether and meet other people that you didn't know? So it wasn't easy from that point of view, and then in the minor seminary there were rules to be obeyed. If you do not observe the rules,you will be asked to leave the seminary but as I said, if God wants somebody to be something he gives you all the necessary means to achieve his objective.

So I will think that, because of that, even though things were difficult,one was able to bear with the difficulties we went through and thanks to God, one succeeded  in becoming a Priest. Along the line, there were so many we started with, they didn't succeed in becoming Priests for one reason or the other some because they didn't obey the rules or some because they didn't do well in their studies and some decided -no this kind of life, I can not go into this kind of life, so they left on their own.

Q:Being the only Northerner at the minor seminary did you suffer from things like tribalism?

Ans:There was actually one northerner who went there many years before me-from Jos, a Berom man. But he didn't stay long, he left, when he left I think I was the next person to go from the north, yes I was certainly the next person to go. My classmates were Igbos, yorubas, people from the present Delta and Edo States and so on but we got mixed together and because of the kind of training we got, we regarded ourselves as brothers there was no question of tribalism whatsoever-in fact it was not there.

Q: Am I right to say you are the first northern Nigerian Arch Bishop of the Catholic church?

Ans:let me first say,I am the first Nigerian north of the rivers Niger and Benue to be a Catholic Priest. I am also  the first Northerner to be an Arch Bishop.

Q: How does that make you feel today knowing that you are the one who opened the flood gates for many others?

Ans: It is Gods calling, if God calls you he wants you to do something for him. So it was God that called me and gave me the strength and wisdom and means to be able to do what I was able to do from the time I was ordained a Priest to the time I became an Arch Bishop and retired in 2007.So all the achievements actually is not due to me the credit goes to God.

God uses human beings as instruments just as you use a knife to cut something, the knife on its own can not cut a thing but you use your hand to cut what you want to cut .In the same way, God can use any human being to do what he wants to be done and that is what happened in my case.

Q: Before you retired in 2007 there were many communal clashes that took place in Kaduna State,what role did you play in ensuring peace prevails at that time?

Ans: It is true that there were many clashes between Christians and Muslims in Kaduna State while I was Arch Bishop. The first clash was in1987.That was when there was a misunderstanding between Christian and Muslim Students in the College of Education Kafanchan. That was the first crisis.

When it started I was attending a meeting with fellow Bishops in Lagos. While I was having the meeting, a policeman came and told me that somebody wanted to see me outside, so I went out to see the person and I was told that the Inspector General of Police wanted to see me. So I followed them. The I.G. told me that there was trouble in Kaduna and that the Governor of the State wanted to see me. So we came with a police helicopter to Kaduna. As soon as we arrived we went straight to the Government House and I met the late Grand Khadi of Kaduna State Sheikh Abubakar Mahmud Gumi and two of us went to the radio house to make  an announcement. We stated that this thing is not a fight between Christians and Muslims and that it was just a misunderstanding and therefore people should not try to fight each other and see it as some sort of war. I think that the announcement we made and people seeing us together, a Christian leader and a Muslim leader talking together helped to some extent to minimise what would have been a much worse situation.

Q: What is your advice to our current leaders today on how to create harmony and prevent further clashes?

Ans:I just mentioned the first crisis many others followed that led to many Christians leaving places like Rigasa and Tudun wada in particular down to areas in the southern part of the metropolis. Muslims also moved. That was a terrible thing that happened. Well we did what we could especially when Makarfi ,Armed Makarfi became Governor of Kaduna State. He was a good friend of mine.He used to come to me and I used to go to him.Before him the same happened with Jaafaru Isa;our last military administrator. He was a good friend of mine too. At that time he used to come with Makarfi but Makarfi will wait in the car, he alone would come into my sitting room and go back. So when Makarfi became Governor, the friendship continued

I think because of that, it was easy to discuss with him and find ways in which both Christians and Muslims could cooperate and live together.

As far as I am aware and know, Christians will never be the first to throw a stone. But there came a time when they said enough is enough because when you push a dog or an animal and its finding a way to escape, it could turn back on you. So the Christians said no we are not going to sit down or run so they fought back. The unfortunate result of that was the almost total separation of Christians from muslims.

A lot of Muslims have come to me especially from tudunwada to express sadness about what happened- I had a Cousin that used to live there that I often visit sometimes late in the night and there was no fear.

What I am saying is, to live in peace, we have to respect one another.Christians have to respect the Muslims, the Muslims have to respect the Christians. There should not be Muslims forcing Christians to be Muslims or Christians forcing Muslims to be Christians. Religion is a free thing. So everyone should be free to chose the religion of their choice.So if there is this kind of respect there will be peace.

But some people look at themselves as if they were placed in a certain position by God to keep on ruling it is not possible, that kind of mentality should not exist any longer because with education we have rights. We are running the Democratic government now and people are educated. When you are educated you know your rights, you know how to pursue your rights, and so if we respect one another's rights,you respect my rights, I respect your rights, there will be proper mutual understanding that will make for mutual peace and cooperation.

Q: Many educational institutions in the past owned by the Catholic church were taken over by government. Looking at the falling standard of education that you mentioned earlier would you say it was a good decision?

Ans: It was not at all a good decision and if the government will be truthful, they will know that it was a bad decision. I am sure it was a really bad decision. What happened was that... Asika...I think he was known as Asika. He was in charge of eastern Nigeria, at that time, the northern ers were very afraid that Christianity was progressing and spreading because of our educational system. Which is true because I remember when we went to school, we were baptised, meaning that we were not Christians but eventually we became baptised. So practically, most of the children that went to Catholic schools ended up being Catholics like in our case through Catholic schools so the Catholic schools were very important and the standard as I said,was very high.. But they realised then that we especially in Southern Kaduna were becoming very educated and I think they were frightened and they thought that a way of making that not to continue was to take over the schools and then they can do what ever they want, so I think that made them to deceive Gowon who was then the Head of State to say okay any state that was willing to take over the schools, they were free to do so.

When that happened, Asika in the Eastern region was the first to take over the Catholic schools. He was himself a Christian- an Anglican I think. The next State to follow was the north central state; that is present day Kaduna and katsina States and then the rest of the northern States took over both secondary and primary. They didn't mean well. I think they thought that by taking over and mixing children; they might be able to get Christians to convert to Islam... That didn't happen. What really happened was that they bastardized the standard because at the time we were running the schools our boys and girls in our secondary schools can't be seen going out without permission from the principal or one of the teachers in charge-you wont see them day or night. And so with lack of discipline, standards were bound to fall .

Q:Would you advocate for these schools to be returned?

Ans: Certainly! Actually we have been asking, even before I retired, there was no Governor Military or Civilian that I didn't ask for our schools to be returned to us. Unfortunately I didn't get the cooperation of others like ECWA and Anglican; these are the two main Christian bodies that owned primary and secondary schools.

The only state in the north that did not take over our schools was Kano state.Audu Bako, who was the first military Governor of Kano state ;when I visited him after my ordination as Arch Bishop in December 1972- I went to pay him a courtesy call ,we were sitting in the evening, we were chatting, he brought beer we were drinking and we chatted, he was telling me how he went through a Catholic school and then along the line he said as long as he remained the governor of Kano state, nobody will touch our schools and  he kept his word and infact uptill today those schools; St Louis for girls and St Thomas for Boys are still owned by the Catholic church, .although a few things happened afterwards.

Q:What advice would you want to give the Buhari administration?

Ans:I used to say when Buhari was military Head of State with Idiagbon, if he had been allowed to remain in power as a military leader for about three years he would have changed Nigeria because of the way things were going although some people were saying that he was too harsh and they had some things against him and so on. Talking about corruption, discipline, and security, I will say if they had remained in power for three years he would have changed Nigeria.

Now he is a civilian President. You see we have the executive, the judiciary and the legislature- he does not control everything so things are not the same. Now he has to do things in consultation with the National assembly he can not do things as he did as a military leader.

There are two areas he is doing well; curbing insecurity-you know Boko haram and so on. As I see it ours as Church leaders is to pray.

Our leaders should ensure that in appointments, distribution of amenities, they don't exclude any particular part of  the country be fair to all that is why I used to say Makarfi was fair to us in Kaduna state- both north and south. For we in the south look at the roads he constructed, Chieftaincies he created and so on. He was fair-see any leader who is fair is sure to do well though not everybody will accept him. So that is what we expect from Buhari.

Q:How will you assess Governor Nasiru Ahmed El-Rufai Governor of Kaduna State.

Ans: I am not too sure. You people are outside so you know what he has achieved. If you let me know what he has done, then I will say he is doing well but I know that something like the question of feeding children in the school? That is not the right thing, the schools are dilapidated, the floors,the doors in most of the schools are battered so it is best to put those things in order and equip them properly.

That is the difference between what the government is doing and what we the Church are doing, our schools were properly equipped.

What we put in our schools, especially the primary schools will make the pupils excited and eager to learn, like we used to have practising schools go there you'd see different paintings, animals and so on, that will excite Children and make them ask what is this, what is that? That is the way they learn.

So the priority for me is to repair the schools both primary and secondary schools, secondly, put qualified teachers. If you put unqualified teachers, they can not teach. The blind can not lead the blind. There are so many boys and girls that have finished our Colleges of education, these are the ones supposed to teach in primary schools but if you go to some of our primary schools you see ordinary school leavers teaching as it were, the blind leading the blind so what do you expect from that?

Q:Thank you your grace.

Ans: You are welcome.

PAPADOM'S POSITION ON WIFE BATTERY.

Wife battery is a societal problem and Papadom will not feel shy to talk about it. It is a form of domestic violence and it seems to be gaining prominence in both the so called developed and developing societies and the involvement of celebrity couples in it is not helping matters. Recall the Chris Brown and Rihanna assault saga for instance. Experts say it originates because of a craving by the perpetrator to control the victim.
This is not to say that only the male specie of humanity hold the monopoly of this kind of violence no way. Nowadays it is not uncommon for a lady to beat a man black and blue. The only difference is the case of the man as victim is grossly underreported for obvious reasons. Nonetheless, battery is battery and Papadom condemns it in its entirety. Papadom believes battery actually reduces a man rather than increase him in any way.
It is like the Headmasters in primary schools across Nigeria in the good old days often say, 'you want to show us that you are strong? Why take on a girl? If you want to display your fighting prowess, go take on a man your size or your mate'. Some men(notice such men are not referred to as Papas?) like to take out their frustrations either at work or in life out on their often dutiful and loving wives. What a shame.
More shameful is the way and manner police stations across some countries including Nigeria, brush aside reported cases of wife battery. The officers often incourage the couple to go home and settle their issues at home. Unfortunately this kind of neglect has led to the untimely death of one too many battered victim.
Papadom believes in stiffer penalties all over the world for perpetrators and a concerted effort from the legislative arm of governance in enacting and ensuring the enforcement of laws making battery unattractive to the animals amongst us who would rather talk with their fists than engage in the civilized option of resolving conflicts through jaw jawing.

SHOULD I ALLOW HER GET A HIGHER EDUCATION?

'What is she going to do with a higher education anyway?' blurted laz, 'I give her every thing, its not as if she desperately needs a job to make ends meet?' laz by the way is a young man I just met in the pub about an hour ago. After exchanging pleasantries and a couple of drinks I think I succeeded in earning his confidence, enough to warrant this admition of spousal conflict.
'So what do you have against her desire to pursue a higher education? 'I enquired. Laz seemed like a reasonable Guy, I wanted to see his point of view Ernestly.' I just don't want my wife to end up at the mercy of some randy lecturer '. I suddenly knew what laz was worried about. It is obvious that in spite of his comfortable status financially, he seemed to be struggling with marital insecurity.' I see 'was what came out of my mouth as I pondered on how to give this troubled soul some good advice (ill prepared as I was, for crying out loud I came here to take a couple of drinks - not for a counselling session?'
'But you know you won't have any iota of peace in your home if you don't allow her to go right? 'I said. Suddenly, laz's countenance brightened,' how did you know that? 'he snapped,' I have had no rest since this going to the University issue started' he added, 'Well if I were you, I will do the wise thing and let her go for her education' I stated point blank. 'Well okay' Laz started unconvinced, 'what about the randy lecturers?' he enquired.
'Are you praying for that to happen? 'I asked him,' certainly not, I love my wife 'laz stressed.' That is very obvious my friend but I think you ought to trust your wife - do you trust your wife? 'I asked,' trust? Of course I trust her.  'he started again, something told me he had not quite finished his answer, so I kept still.' I trust and love her, but you know women, you never can tell with them. '
I noded my head more out of sympathy than agreement and took a sip of my beverage.' Mr Laz', I started, your wife does not need to get it going on with some randy academic only when she gets admitted in the University, she can do it right now if she wants to. 'I stated matter of factly.
We talked for a while after then and laz insisted on paying for my drink. Naturally, I was grateful for his gesture but I was more thankful that I was at the right place at the right time, because from his gait I knew that my friend Laz, is now a happier Man who knows the right decision to make today.
I hope Papas who might be going through similar challenges in marriage will give this a thought. I personally believe a woman should be allowed to get any kind of education she desires. It will not only make her a more informed wife and mother, but also ensure the family does not suffer should the husband and bread winner - like in Laz's case, suddenly die . Let's do the intelligent thing.

ODD CHOICES SOME PAPAS MAKE.

p dir="ltr">There are times when Papas give more attention to inanimate objects in the house and this justifiably annoys other members of the house. Their grouse is usually based on the premise that they aught to get the attention not some inanimate thing. Take a brand new car just bought by Papa after months some times years of savings. We Papas tend to give that dream car our unalloyed attention and who wouldn't?
Unfortunately that innocent stance, often puts Papa on a collision course with others especially the woman of the house. I wonder how a mere washing of the car like twice or thrice a day should solicit animosity. We like keeping our toys spotless. And yes other necessities in the house can take second place to the periodic servicing of the automobile. Papas regard that as money well spent. Don't blame us try to understand us.
Another point in case is when the money budgeted for domestic expenditure is fast running out and the car is about to run out of fuel. Papas wonder why others fail to understand why we would rather for go some essentials and fuel the car. We know it sounds painful but sometimes the car ranks higher than the woman in the house. Again, don't blame us try to understand us we just love our toys.
What about times when the car develops a mechanical or electric fault? Others in the house get astounded when we loose sleep over a 'mere' car and will leave no stone unturned until our beloved toy is certified fit and motorable by our mechanic and oh how we celebrate her return back to the household more like a beloved child returning back home after a long journey. And the woman goes 'all that for a car? Well what can Papas say? Don't blame us, try to understand us. Our brand new car means a lot to us and and yes, we are not ashamed to declare - some times the car ranks higher than the woman.
If we get involved in an accident and we escape fairly unhurt, the rest of the world maybe be thankful that no life was lost. But when we meet in our Papas forum ;the first question you should expect is 'how is the car?' and when the report is not so good, we all mourn the car like a person. Don't blame us try to understand us, some times the car ranks higher than the woman.
We could spend hours on end talking about our cars ;we like to compare the model and its year of manufacture. How fast it can go could be a serious subject of debate and might even lead to an impromptu race and a bet where serious money could be won or lost, you better believe that . We compare automobile companies and their reputations. We rejoice when we succeed in convincing a Papa to sell off his car and join our chosen brand. We keep tabs on the current news and trends in the automotive industry. What can we say, we just love our cars I am sure you are beginning to see why some times our car ranks higher than the woman. Don't blame us, try to understand us.

WHEN IT'S TIME TO LET THE CHILD CHOSE.

Deep down every Papa wants his kids to emulate him and eventually inherit the family business or trade. Its like in the not so distant past, a fisherman expects his children to be fishermen and continue the family business and tradition. Same applies if the Papa is a carpenter, teacher or farmer. I guess we can trace this desire to a Papas desire to bequeath a legacy to his progenitors and by so doing ensure their financial sure footedness. After all the business they are passing on is what sustained the family, its all he knows.
Papas resist the idea of their children delving into other means of livelihood because, let's face it, Papas know hardly any thing about the 'strange' job their young one is delving into and to them, that is not right at all or is it? What parting words of advice on the job for instance is a fisherman Papa expected to offer to a child about to become an architect? Got my drift?
However, it doesn't have to be this bad to a Papa who is ready to move with the times. That kind of Papa appreciates the fact that the job market is always evolving and there are certain vocations that are appreciated today as legitimate ;that simply did not exist forty years ago. Blogging for instance. Papas who are interested in the happiness of their children do not or should I say, would not, subject them to the impractical gridlock of insisting they stay true to the family profession against their wish.
Children should also not take this new found freedom for granted. They should pursue their passion with a passion. Jumping from this job to that job will only make the recalcitrant Papa stuck in the old way only say 'I told you so'. Young people planning to chart their own way in life need to do their own research. If they want to go into a brand new area as Enterprenuers, they should figure out how they can make a living doing it. There is no glory and plenty of shame if they have to go running back to good old Papa from time to time, for handouts.
Therefore in this fast changing world, both papa and offspring, need to embrace change. A career choice should remain a choice but in making choices, this generation must as they say, look before they leap.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR CHILDREN ARE?

'DO you know where your children are?' This is a phrase made popular by Frank Olize a TV presenter on Nigeria's state TV station NTA in the nineties. This phrase I can argue is as potent and relevant in our society today as it was in the nineties. Inspite of the advancements in communication ;I mean we have it all today - email, social media, phone calls and even teleconferencing, in spite of all the communication gadgets at our disposal, the question still stares us Papas in the face - do we know where our children are? Do we have any idea what they are up to this moment?
The unfortunate truth is that we have surrendered the role of checking up on our children to surrogates. Some of us work so hard to send our children to expensive boarding institutions and that is it. Money can't buy love it is said, what is more true is the fact that money can't buy good parenting either.
We are conspicuously not there when they need us most. We are always too busy chasing money to realize the importance of sparing some time for our beloved kids. Our women aren't any better either. For most women ;independence, career, and self fulfilment resonate more than monitoring 'just children' how unfortunate.
This missing link must be responsible for the social ills that is eating up the innocence of our young ones. A clear example is the cancer of secret cults in our schools. It is said that nature abhors a vacuum, because we have abdicated our roles as role models and protectors of family values, our kids have replaced us with the false sense of family and security that their peers in cult groups offer.
Related to that is of course, the rising cases of youth violence, criminality and rape. And when the bubble finally bursts and we get summoned to the police station for a crime our child has committed or sadly, to the morgue to retrieve our child's remains, we more often than not blame it on just about everyone but ourselves.
See how a simple task of knowing where our children are can determine whether they have there names written in the hall of fame or hall of shame? We should remember that in the end we all as Papas will be called upon to give an account of the role we played in either making or marring the lives of the kids entrusted to us. Every Papa worth his salt should like to emerge squeaky clean. Let's think about it.