MENTAL HEALTH AND PAPADOM TODAY

I am not sure of the exact figure but I think it is either one out of every five or six individuals have mental disorder. A medical practitioner I was speaking to the other day told me that mental disorder does not necessarily boil down to being raving mad and picking things at random on the streets. I got to understand that in today's stress rich world of ours, we all especially Papas need periodic checks of our mental state.
Little wonder, the strange things we hear of every now and then. Rape of Minors for one. Only an individual with mental illness will think of laying his hands to violate a baby. But that is not all, reckless driving in residential areas could also be a manifestation of mental ill health. I have always wondered what will make a Papa drive at speeds that only Lewis Hamilton or Sebastian Vettel muster in formula one - in a high density neighbourhood ;my suspicion has been confirmed.
Don't breath easy yet Papa, it might be too early to conclude that you are off the hook on this matter. Do you know that lack of sleep is another indicator of mental illness? How many times have Papas divulged to me the fact that they can't seem to be able to grab a decent snooze even after a hard days work? I know we recommend several remedies to each other as a way out of sleeplessness but hey, if you have tried it all and you still struggle to get a decent shut eye, then dear Papa, its time to visit a psychiatric doctor.
Kleptomania is another symptom. My medical practitioner friend explained to me. Yes the inexplicable penchant to steal and steal and steal! I figured that explains the action of many political leaders especially in developing countries in recent times. Only a Kleptomaniac will help himself to his nations resources to the extent that he will soon be richer than his nation. Crazy isn't it?
There are many other symptoms of mental illness, depression is one then there is the condition where the individual is very happy this minute then extremely sad the next minute my medical practitioner friend says its called bi polar disorder. Paranoia, which is a state of mind that thinks everyone or everything is against one is yet another . The bottom line here is, we all especially Papas should take our mental health seriously and yes, it pays to get that periodic mental examination.

WHEN THE DRINK RANKS HIGHER THAN THE WOMAN?

What is in a drink? A lot really. For starters only a good drink can assuage thirst. No wonder in many cultures the first thing giving to a guest is a cold drink. You might take this cultural gesture for granted but ask a nomad living in the desert, you will see that a drink is actually a lease of life. Okay, I believe we have established the fact that a drink is vital to our existence and part of our cultural heritage. Let's get to the nitty - gritty.
Papadom went to a pub recently and got some disturbing revelations from some Papas who were enjoying their drinks. First of all the fact should be made here and now that this was no teetotellars pub every one was indulging in one alcoholic drink or the other, it was either beer, brandy, whisky or wine. It was a merry atmosphere until a Papa that we initially thought had had a drink too much declared 'my drink is more loyal than my woman I tell you', just as we were letting it all soak in, another Papa retorted 'you are spot- on on that Pal,' he started, 'my drink is always there for me, she never nags', that statement elicited a unanimous head nodd across the pub. 'my drink never tells me no, no headaches or fever and most importantly, I can open her up when ever I need to'.
To our utmost surprise that weird piece of oratory got a round of applause and several glasses clinked in unison. Does that imply that some Papas really rate there drinks higher than their women, we thought? Or was it that the booze got the better of them? Papadom is as bewildered today as it was that merry day.

The shameful trade in Albinos and hunchbacks.

I am of the position that Papas world wide should stand up and condemn the utter senselessness that is going on in Africa today. I am referring to the crazy practice of hunting and killing or maiming innocent albinos in the name of a so called quest to acquire riches or power. My heart goes to the poor hapless Papas of albinos especially in parts of Africa like Tanzania. It is hard enough to cater for kids with albinism now they have to add that to watching their backs all the time in case, those cold blooded murderers are lurking in a thicket behind.
Good news coming from Tanzania says the government has started arresting the traditional medicine men who are the source of the madness in the first place. I think a law should be promulgated stipulating that anyone caught in the act of trading directly or indirectly in the body parts of any other human being ;albino or not should be given the death penalty. I think only a stiff penalty will be a deterrent to get rich or power quick, individuals.
Tanzania is not the only country grappling with this problem, Nigeria has had her own share of these death merchants. Recently there was an outcry by concerned citizens about the fact that hunchbacked people were being hunted and killed. Just like the Tanzanian case, it was all started by some witch doctor who told his gullible clientèle that in the hunchback lies great riches and power. What balderdash!
Several years ago a man called Clifford Orji was caught with a bag full of human body parts, he was paraded to the press and you can imagine how the Nigerian public received it, disbelief mixed with fear and outrage is how I will describe it. However trust the Media after a few weeks, attention turned to something else and that was all I can recall about Clifford Orji, was he prosecuted? I don't know.
African governments, NGOs, civil society organizations and religious organizations should wake up from their slumber and educate the gullible public about the vanity of wealth secured through any other means other than hard work and honesty. That is the only way our albino sons and daughters and indeed their hunchbacked peers can be guaranteed a decent life expectancy. To their Papas we say don't give up-like smallpox ;this tragedy will be a thing of the past one day soon.

Gardening and Papadom.

If I had the power, I will make gardening compulsory for every Papa. I say this because of the immense benefits of gardening both to the individual and to the society as a whole. No one should give any excuse for not getting in to it, I know that the common excuse is that of space well that is no more tenable, I have seen documentaries of people living in concrete jungles, I mean folks living in urban areas with little or no arable space somehow overcoming that disadvantage through creativity and today they are reaping the fruits literally of their gardens.
I was particularly impressed with the story of the Papa living in a high rise building in Beijing, who created a beautiful garden at the top of the high rise building and actually invites his neighbours over from time to time to cook and eat collectively from the bounty of his garden. That is one fulfilled Papa if you ask me. You get a sense of fulfilment when you put a seed in the soil and water it and see that seed sprout into a young seedling. Then as you keep tending it flowers and fruits emerge! I tell you it does a lot of good to the psyche of any Papa.
This is more true if you happen to lead a sedentary life style, where very little physical activity is done. Gardening can be a very good source of exercise, enjoy the thrills of getting your hands dirty again, just like a kid does and eat the vegetables from your backyard. That way you know where your groceries are from, that way you know you are eating organic healthy stuff. Good old gardening can do that for you.
What's more, today you can grow your vegetables in bags, plastic containers and even old discarded tyers. Gardening adds to the aesthetics of your home. Your guests will commend you not only for going green and making the planet a little more healthy and safe, you will also be amazed at the compliments you get for being 'cultured'.
On the whole it just feels good when you step into your green fruit rich garden and take a deep clean breath of pure oxygen you have created. Oh! What a wonderful feeling.
If you don't have a garden, I tell you, you are missing out of a great opportunity to have fun at home. It could also be useful for bonding within the family.
When the wify and kids join in the gardening, new experiences of family bliss is shared and just like the best things in life? This is also free. Do yourself a some good grab the rewards of gardening today while you still can.

A TALE OF TWO PAPAS

Here is a tale of two Papas, first let's identify them. Let's call the first PAPA, PAPA A and then, the second, Papa B. Okay the tale goes like this ; PAPA A has been a go getter from the word go. His childhood friends all attest to the fact that he didn't mince words in declaring to whoever cared to listen about his determination to strike gold early in life and live a life of affluence where everyone and everything will be at his beck and call.
Papa A, courted and befriended only people who would help him climb the ladder of success. After graduation from the University, he convinced a son of a wealthy business mogul to partner with him in establishing a contracting firm. Sure enough thanks to the connections of his partners father, the contracts kept on coming. Withing three years, the firm had established itself as one of the foremost in the country. Papa A wined and dined with the cream de la cream of society.
Papa A, soon made the headlines in the nations tabloids as his country's most eligible bachelor. The paparazzi went everywhere he went and were interested in who he was seeing. After two years of dating every beautiful or rich lady in the land, Papa A finally decided it was time to say bye bye to bachelorhood. So he picked one of his ex girlfriends whose father just got appointed Minister of finance in the country, apologized to her for dumping her, kissed and made up and proposed to her two weeks after.
The wedding, as should be expected, was the talk of the land. Everyone that was someone jusstled to get an invite to the celebrity wedding, and on the D day no one was disappointed. Dignitaries at the high table included no less a personality than the President of the country and his wife the first lady. Musicians from all around the world entertained.
Papa A, soon after, parted ways with his business partner and formed his own company. Thanks to his in law the Minister of finance, the company recorded profit after tax running into millions of dollars in the first year of its existence . Finally Papa A was living his dream he now literally straddles the world like a Collosus. Everything is going his way now. Everything? Well not exactly everything, there is this small palaver with his wife.
They never seem to manage a conversation without a big fight ensuing. She expects him to be there always for him and their baby. He can't understand her, he has given her everything a woman dreams of a big mansion, servants at her beck and call, a six figure shopping allowance every week? What else can a woman ask for? Now she is threatening to file for divorce? Papa A is perplexed!
Then there is Papa B. From boyhood he has been the shy one. His friends teased him for his timidity and the few girls he garnered courage to approach, answered with an emphatic no. His school days went on pretty dull and uneventfully. He graduated and landed a job in a bank. After observing his unattached status for two straight years, a colleague hooked him up with the friend of his girlfriend.
Papa B, stuck to the relationship, even when he knew that his new girlfriend was seeing someone else, his patience payed off after several months when his girlfriend came crying and confessing to him about her infidelity, promising to turn a new leaf and stay loyal to Papa B. True to his nature, he forgave her and assured her of his undying love.
The next year they got married. Three years later and two kids after. Through dint of hardwork, Papa B got promoted to Branch Manager at the Head quarters of the bank. He now finally felt his life and all the painful jigsaw Puzzles of his past finally making a meaning. He sincerely felt he was a lucky fellow with a lot to thank God for. That was until he came back home very early one fateful day and caught his beloved wife in bed with his Neighbour!
Now tell me, between Papa A and Papa B, who is 'cool'? Whom amongst the two has got it going on? Who would you rather be?

'YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER OF THE CHILD!'

What would you do if your dear better half. Suddenly tells you that the child that called you PAPA, the child that you have sheltered, protected, paid his/her school fees ;is not your biological son/daughter ? What will be your reaction?
It is often said and rightly so, that only a woman can tell who is really the father of her child - well not exactly true - science pundits will say. DNA, No doubt, Offers a window for bewildered Papas who want a second opinion. Things will fall apart in any family shaken by a tsunami of a 'confession' like that . Most Papas I know would go through several phases as they try to grapple with the situation. Let's call it the biblical 'Joseph syndrome' . These reactions could range from disbelief to rage then self blame.
I am sure that was how biblical Joseph felt when he was informed that his betrothed Mary was with child. I know many Papas will send the woman parking along with her child in a blink of an eye . But wait a minute, I think there are other perspectives that Papas should consider. What happens to the child that calls you PAPA? Why should any child be made to suffer for a crime he/she knows nothing about?
I think as long as no long lost wannabe Papa has come forward with a claim to the child in question and even if he gathers the balls to come forward, he better come with concrete evidence and a convincing story for abdicating his responsibilities for years, there is no reason why you should not 'adopt' the child.( That is even if DNA results confirm what the wife said.) I believe the man who laboured all these years deserves a chance to reap from his labour dont you agree?
Then there is also the womans mental state to be considered. Maybe before any Papa jumps to a conclusion, there is a need to check her into a Phychiatric hospital to have her sanity ascertained. It is not out of place for people with mental disorder to make serious statements. A good example is the confession of being a witch or wizard by people who were later discovered to be mentally challenged.
What I am getting at in a nutshell is that Papas should handle cases like this intelligently and with a lot of wisdom. I am not downplaying the fact that such happenings are complex. I would rather have the cup pass me by than have to face such a daunting event that can put the best Papa's sense of restraint and wisdom to the test. Nonetheless, a word of advice to the Papa in that situation, 'you are not the first'. And there is nothing we can not get over, no matter how painful.

BORROWING TO CELEBRATE.

Something caught my attention and I felt like sharing it on Papadom today, some ill informed Papas are into the habit of borrowing heavily in order to celebrate a holiday or anniversary. This is wrong and on Papadom we condemn this action in its entirety. 'he who goes a borrowing goes a sorrowing', who doesn't know that? So why borrow just for a celebration?
I can understand borrowing money in order to meet a medical need in the family or to buy food, clothing and other necessities, but borrowing in order to celebrate, is something I just can't seem to stomach. The problem here is some of us want to impress the world or the spouse to the detriment of the family because unnecessary borrowing will tell on the family especially when the strain of paying back starts to tell;thus affecting the wellbeing and happiness of the whole family.
A Papa worth his salt will cut his coat according to his clothe as they rightly say. There is no point living above your means. You will eventually realize that you have decieved no one but yourself. The best thing to do is to plan and budget for upcoming events that you think are absolutely necessary. With meticulous planning, one can save towards a target and most certainly that which is desired can be attained.
Another thing is papas should be wary of falling into the trap of trying to keep up or worse still compete with friends who seem to be doing better. 'All fingers are not equal'. You know that, modesty is a virtue and every Papa should know that humility is a precious gift The essential thing in every home is love and you certainly don't need to go cap in hand begging or borrowing to give it and receive it in your home.
Another thing to consider is the fact that expensive parties, celebrations and vacations don't necessarily translate to a happy home, no matter how wonderful they may be. So  dear Papa, who told you that you must spend the fortune that you don't have in order to make a great home? In times of plenty there is nothing wrong with occasional treats for the family even though I will always recommend doing it modestly.
In the same vein, when the finances are not there for a lavish celebration, resist the temptation to borrow even if its from the missus. Stand your ground and insist on doing the right thing. Let the entire members of your family realize that borrowing does nothing but impoverish the family. And an impoverished family, try as it may, can never be a happy family.